I’m not exactly sure about how this happened, when I just stopped feeling those things I used to. I think I may have lost them somewhere, I’m always losing things. It’s not that I meant to lose them, I just did and when I first noticed they were missing, I wanted them back but now… well now I just want someone else to find them. To find those feelings for you because, I don’t think they belong to me anymore, not really and I think you know that too but you’re too scared to admit it. I’m too scared to admit it but there is no point in denying it any further because it will only hurt us both.
You looked at me with those eyes, those cruel painful eyes and I had to look away. I had ran away from this moment plenty of times before and regretted it every time I did. I couldn’t feel guilty for my feelings or rather… my non-feelings.
Out of the loss of my feelings, I found something else, something honest and so bold. I found that I can’t always predict myself because in fact, I’m unpredictable and I never used to think I was but maybe that changed maybe I lost my predictability too.